Here is a story from England about a man who thought that if he beat himself up, he wouldn’t have to take a breath test. So he punched himself in the face, slammed his head against doors and ran into a wall.
Well, it partially worked. He didn’t have to take the breath test. His actions qualified as a breath test refusal, however the court found that there was enough evidence of intoxication and he was found guilty and received a three year license suspension.
My advice is to avoid giving yourself a splitting headache and unsightly facial bruises. If you are going to refuse a breath test, you can simply say “I decline to take a breath test.” It works a lot better than slamming your head into a door and is easier too. At least in Cook County.*
*These rules may not apply in Kane County or your local jurisdiction.