Naked drunk driver led Montana Police on High Speed Chase

From KTVQ:

BILLINGS- A 38-year-old, naked allegedly intoxicated driver was arrested Monday after she led a Montana Highway Patrol Trooper on a pursuit just east of Billings.

Lisa Christine Walter is being held in the Yellowstone County Detention Facility on a $25,000 bond. She has two prior DUI convictions in July 2016 and February 2019, and she was charged on suspicion of drunken driving again on May 5.

Court records state just after 2 a.m. Monday a trooper saw a gray sedan driving east on Interstate 90 near the North 27th Street off-ramp.

The vehicle, with no headlights on, was apparently swerving and drifting across the highway.

The pursuit reached speeds of 90 to 100 mph for about three miles, narrowly avoiding a crash.

Once stopped, as the trooper approached her car with his weapon drawn, he saw Walter was not wearing any clothing. He put a robe on her he found in her vehicle.

As the trooper was placing Walter in his patrol car he said she groped his crotch, according to court documents. She also refused to provide a blood sample to authorities.

Walter faces five charges, including driving under the influence, fleeing law enforcement and sexual assault charge for allegedly trying to grope the trooper.

 

Man drives to police station, asks to be arrested for DUI

Here is a sign that you are drunk: you drive to the police station and request to be arrested for DUI.

If you weren’t so drunk, maybe you would just call the police instead of driving there.

Or maybe you wouldn’t call the police at all.

From Yahoo! News:

HOPKINSVILLE, Ky. (AP) — Authorities say a man drove under the influence of alcohol to a small-town Kentucky police station, where he requested that officers arrest him.

The Kentucky New Era (http://bit.ly/1MNoFOI) reports that 26-year-old Christopher L. Stewart drove to Tuesday night to the station in Hopkinsville, near the Tennessee border, and slammed on his brakes, nearly hitting a police cruiser. The newspaper reports that Stewart approached officers and said he was ready to go to jail for DUI.

The paper says he told police he drank a pint before driving to the station. Police say Stewart also attempted to drink a closed bottle of fuel injector cleaning fluid, but officers stopped him.

He was charged with driving under the influence.

Take My Advice: Beating yourself up won’t help you beat a DUI rap

Here is a story from England about a man who thought that if he beat himself up, he wouldn’t have to take a breath test.  So he punched himself in the face, slammed his head against doors and ran into a wall.

Well, it partially worked.  He didn’t have to take the breath test.  His actions qualified as a breath test refusal, however the court found that there was enough evidence of intoxication and he was found guilty and received a three year license suspension.

My advice is to avoid giving yourself a splitting headache and unsightly facial bruises.  If you are going to refuse a breath test, you can simply say “I decline to take a breath test.”  It works a lot better than slamming your head into a door and is easier too.  At least in Cook County.*

*These rules may not apply in Kane County or your local jurisdiction.

Does it pass the smell test? Driving drunk with a skunk!

I don’t think alcohol abuse effects one’s sense of smell.  But maybe I am wrong.

From the Huffington Post:

Skunk

Virginia police make stinky arrest.

Police in Virginia say a man charged with a DUI was drunk as the proverbial skunk — which he just so happened to have in tow — at the time of his arrest.

Efrain Moreno Alvarez, 40, was charged by the Waynesboro Police Department with driving under the influence of alcohol on Nov. 11. The charge is far from unique, but the circumstances of the arrest stunk, police said.

According to a spokesperson for Waynesboro police, a witness spotted Alvarez strike a guardrail on Interstate 64 with his 1990 Chevrolet Lumina. After the crash, Alvarez fled the scene and continued driving erratically into the city, the witness reported in a call to 911.

A responding officer intercepted Alvarez a few minutes later. It was after the officer exited his police cruiser that he smelled a distinctive odor emanating from the man’s vehicle.

“When the officer approached Alvarez, not only did he detect a strong odor of alcohol coming from the driver but also a strong odor of skunk,” a spokesperson for the Waynesboro Police Department said.

The officer noticed a bushy-tailed object in a plastic grocery bag hanging from the rear windshield wiper of the vehicle. The officer also noted the wiper was in motion even though the weather was clear.

After having Alvarez perform some field sobriety tests, the officer arrested him for driving under the influence. When the officer asked Alvarez what he had in the grocery bag hanging from his wiper, he allegedly said it contained the carcass of a skunk he had killed. The animal, Alvarez told police, had been killing his chickens.

“Alvarez told the officer he was trying to find a receptacle to dispose of the carcass when he was stopped by the officer,” the police spokesperson said.

Alvarez, who lent new meaning to the term “skunk drunk,” had a blood alcohol content of .15. His vehicle was impounded, along with his rancid cargo and he was transported to Middle River Regional Jail.